Looking for justifications

To define this restlessness

Making up stories

Of despair and pain

So all this can make sense

What is it that I am feeling?

Why is it that I can’t tell?

It definitely isn’t joy,

and I realise it’s not grief,

It’s just this hollowness

An emptiness

A certain numbness

And I yearn to feel something

Anything that would make sense

Make me laugh out loud

Make me cry uncontrollably

But this absence of anything

Kills me from within

I wish I could name it, know it

Stop its murderous hands

Before it strangles my very being

Block the slow poison

As it spreads within me

I wish it would just freeze

I wish it would just end

Or do I really want it to end?

I don’t know anymore..




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